Finding Connection Beyond Language
Lessons from a childhood visit with my Danish grandmother
When I was a little girl, my grandmother from Denmark visited us in Canada a few times. I only spoke English and she only spoke Danish so you’d think we would have a hard time communicating – and we did – with words. But, with our body language, eye contact, gestures, and facial expressions – we could communication beautifully.
While I don’t remember much from her visits, I have a vivid memory of her last trip when I was about 3 years old. I can picture us walking down the street holding hands – we were off to pick wildflowers for my mom. I see us in a field with the sun shining on us and the plants blowing in warm breeze. It was magical and no words were needed. I felt safe, loved, and connected to my bedstemor (grandmother in Danish).
My grandmother died not long after this visit and what’s amazing to me is that over 40 years later, this time with her left such a lasting impact.
Imagine having that kind of impact on someone!
Imagine someone being able to recount how you made them feel years later!
Imagine being able to communicate so clearly without speaking a word.
You can!
You already are communicating through nonverbal cues. But what are you saying?
Nonverbal communication has a significant impact on people’s perception of your brand.
Let’s dive into how you can improve and leverage nonverbal cues for greater impact on you and your business.
Crossed Arms
Did you know that crossed arms can be perceived as a sign of defensiveness or a lack of openness?
How many times have you seen someone crossing their arms in a photo or at an event and felt like they weren’t approachable? Or perhaps you’re the one guilty of crossing your arms?
And I get it – sometimes it’s a struggle to figure out what the heck to do with our arms! Next time you find yourself crossing your arms for a photo try putting a hand on your hip or tucking your hands loosely into your pockets. If you’re at an event or meeting, try mirroring the other persons position – this signals engagement and interest.
TIP: Take an audit of your photo and remove the ones where you have your arms crossed.
Eye Contact
This isn’t about having a staring contest; it’s about really looking at a person so they feel seen and heard – and it doesn’t have to be constant.
Eye contact and your facial expressions makes people feel like you are interested in what they have to say. It can show confidence, interest, joy, gratitude…so many emotions are expressed through our eyes and faces.
The eyes are the window into the soul – let people in.
Many people struggle with eye contact for a variety of reasons, however the science behind it is strong and goes back to our caveman days when eye contact was a matter of life and death.
Your eyes are powerful. Use them to create better connections and enrich your business relationships.
Gestures and Body Language
Living in Sicily for the last 6 months has been an immersive experience in Italian gestures and body language. They speak passionately with their hands, arms and often with their whole body! I can see a Sicilian from a distance and understand how they are feeling and, in some cases, what they are even saying. It’s really something to see.
Since my Italian still isn’t great, I’ve gotten to use some of these gestures myself. Using my hands, leaning in, smiling, mirroring, and making eye contact – with this I can typically make myself understood. Although occasionally I still need to use google translate!
Check out the video below if you want to learn more about Italian hand gestures!
And for some fun and entertainment, watch this awesome YouTube short with a little angry Italian girl.
Nonverbal communication plays an essential role in every aspect of our daily lives, and not just when it comes to speaking different languages like with my grandmother and I.
Through your body language, facial expressions, gestures, and eye contact you are able to express joy, engagement, interest, concern, love, gratitude….and so much more without even saying a word.
By taking control of the messages you are sending people you can communicate clearly, build trust and credibility, and create strong relationships. All which leads to greater business success, brand awareness and personal fulfillment.
Which of these nonverbal communication cues do you need to work on? Comment below and let me know!